On September 11th, 2001, Kathy was in the World Trade Center in New York City. “I remember saying, ‘Oh God, something terrible is happening.’” Kathy says.
After getting out of the towers safely, Kathy felt a numbness that overtook her. And after it faded, she wanted the comfort of it back. She turned to substance abuse to deal with the pain that came with her memories.
“I perceived God as being very judgmental,
very punishing, and I believed that.”
When it came to a higher power, Kathy had a harsh view of God. “I perceived [him] as being very judgmental, very punishing, and I believed that.” Kathy remembers. “I thought the reason that I was not taken on 9/11 was because God didn’t want me in heaven with him."
Feeling unloved, insignificant, and broken, Kathy spent years of her life believing she could do nothing to redeem herself or her situation. She felt hopeless and lost in her own life.
When a friend invited her to LCBC, she began to see her life differently. Listening to Jason preach, Kathy realized that it’s not about the past, it’s about the life you live from this point in your journey. “[Jason] said, ‘Just remember, God loves you anyway.’ And I was like, did he just say that?”
After the initial shock of the realization set in, Kathy began coming back to gatherings and met some women that she started forming relationships with. “Every time they talked about God, they smiled.” Kathy recalls. “Any direction that God took their lives, they were okay with that. And I wanted to be okay with that."
The life Kathy lives now is full of freedom. “I can now close the 9/11 chapter,” she says. “I’ll never forget it. I’ve learned from it. I think 9/11 brought me to where I am right now. I’m a better mother, I’m a much better wife. I’m a better person because I have God in my life."