Nothing stops you in your tracks quite like fear – you know this if you resonate the most with the “freeze” part of fight, flight, or freeze. While it may seem like your fearful thoughts are there to keep you safe, what if they’re actually holding you back?
You can overcome fear – and by asking yourself a few questions, you can get to the root of fear and begin to move past it with God’s help.
3 questions to help you overcome fear
To finally break the grip of fear on your life, start by asking yourself these three questions:
1. “What am I really afraid of?”
To overcome fear, you first need to identify what you’re afraid of. This isn’t as obvious as it sounds because your fears at face value often point to a much deeper fear within.
If you’re nervous about asking for a promotion at work, for example, simply mustering up the courage to talk to your supervisor won’t ultimately solve the problem. It may get you the promotion, but you’re not addressing what’s beneath the surface.
Ask “Why” five times.
To get to the heart of your fears, start with one. Let’s use the promotion example again. If your fear is something along the lines of “I’m nervous to ask my boss for a promotion,” ask yourself why. When you answer, ask why again. Here’s how this plays out:
Why am I afraid of asking my boss for a promotion? Because they may say no.
Why am I afraid my boss will say no? Because I’ll feel embarrassed I even asked in the first place.
Why would I be embarrassed of asking in the first place? Because I would feel like a failure if I was denied the promotion.
Why would I feel like a failure? Because being denied the promotion would mean I’m not good enough.
Why am I afraid of not being good enough?
This, here, is the fifth “Why,” and nine times out of ten it identifies the root of your fear. In this scenario, we see that the true fear isn’t just nerves about asking a superior for a promotion. Hidden beneath the surface is an internalized fear of not being good enough.
Once you know what root of your fear is, you know what you need to bring to God. Only God can heal the deep wounds we carry – but when we bring them to him, he is gracious to shoulder the burden.
2. “What could go right?”
In the face of fear, we often go into self-preservation mode. Our sole focus becomes protecting ourselves from whatever the worst-case scenario may be.
In the example of asking your boss for a promotion, you may avoid the conversation to protect yourself from the sting of rejection. But by doing this, you also deny yourself the opportunity to take on a better role at your job. It’s like hockey legend Wayne Gretzky said: “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”
So instead of focusing on what could go wrong, ask yourself, “What could go right?” The excitement of potential good outcomes can help erase the nerves about the potential bad outcomes.
3. “What voices am I listening to?”
The external influences around us can have a greater impact on our fearful thoughts than we give them credit for. The people around us and the media sources we pay attention to will feed our thoughts – but the kind of thoughts we let them feed is up to us.
Scrolling through videos or watching news channels that cause your anxiety to spike will make your fears worse. So will isolating yourself from others.
Instead, put your phone down, turn off the TV, and surround yourself with people who will feed your courage instead of your fears. A great way to do this is to join a Group who will pray for you, cheer you on, and keep you accountable.
Listen to God’s voice
The Bible is full of truths that will put your mind at ease and help you find courage in the face of fear. These 25 Bible verses about fear will remind you of God’s promises and help you face the things you’re afraid of. Over time, keeping Bible verses like these close will help you break the paths fear has worn into your mind.
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Fear doesn’t have an age limit – if you’re a parent or spend a lot of time around kids, you should know how to help them overcome fear, too!
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