Because porn is most often consumed behind closed doors, you may think that something done in secret wouldn’t have a lasting impact on your relationships. However, statistics show that when one spouse starts watching pornography, the likelihood of divorce doubles? Even divorce lawyers have identified pornography as a significant factor leading to marital breakdowns.
Porn does have an impact on marriages, but why? Let's delve into four key reasons why pornography damages the sacred bond of marriage, and how you can reverse its effects before it’s too late.
Porn erodes physical intimacy in marriage
God designed sex to be a physically intimate union between a man and a woman, fostering connection, pleasure, and the possibility of creating new life. Cultivating a healthy sexual relationship in marriage requires vulnerability, communication, and effort.
However, pornography offers a shortcut to physical gratification without any of the work or benefits of genuine intimacy. By opting for the easy path of pornography, couples cheat themselves out of the deep connection and fulfillment that comes from a thriving sexual relationship within marriage. It’s essential to “give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage” (Hebrews 13:4).
Porn distorts our view of sexuality
Pornography distorts our understanding of healthy sexuality. Its addictive nature alters our brain chemistry, leading to a craving for increasingly extreme and perverse content to achieve the same level of arousal. That’s why 1 Corinthians 6:18 gives such a stern warning against sexual sins like pornography:
Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.
As a result, what should be an expression of love and connection between spouses can devolve into selfish acts, often leaving shame and guilt in their wake. Rather than drawing couples closer together, porn drives a wedge between them, chipping away at the foundation of their relationship.
Porn destroys trust
Watching porn is inherently secretive and deceitful. People who are addicted to it often experience a great deal of shame and guilt – or even just want to avoid getting caught – leading them to hide their habits from their spouse. This cycle of secrecy breeds distrust and alienation, undermining open communication and intimacy in the marriage.
The Bible gives a sober warning against keeping secrets. We may think our secrets will always be a secret, but “The time is coming when everything that is covered up will be revealed, and all that is secret will be made known to all.” Luke 12:2.
Porn fosters dissatisfaction with our spouses
Constant exposure to unrealistic images of sexualized perfection can cause a real-life partner to pale in comparison, leading to disappointment and dissatisfaction on our end and feelings of inadequacy and insecurity on theirs.
The erosion of attraction and satisfaction inflicted by pornography can devastate a marriage, leaving scars that take considerable time and effort to heal. What starts with a seemingly small temptation ultimately leads to devastating consequences. This temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death. James 1:14-15
Hope and healing are within reach
If you’re ready to quit porn, there’s good news. God offers freedom and restoration to marriages affected by the effects of porn addiction. Jesus is the ultimate healer and restorer, and he can bring healing and freedom to anyone willing to let go of their addiction and pursue a path of recovery.
However, the journey to recovery is not easy. It requires painful honesty, accountability, and support from others. But with God's guidance and the support of people you trust, your marriage can be restored to a place of health and thriving intimacy.
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If you’re ready to quit porn addiction, or you want to support a loved one through it, check out this episode of the Live Changed Podcast where we hear from the creator of Covenant Eyes, a revolutionary accountability program freeing many people from porn addiction.
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