“Don’t worry, you’ll find the one someday.”
“It’ll happen when you least expect it!”
“Someone as great as you surely won’t stay single for long.”
Our default as a culture is to treat singleness like a problem to solve – almost like a disease that, with enough time and patience, we’ll eventually heal from. But is singleness really something we need to fix about ourselves? Is it okay to be single?
While the Bible has a lot of great things to say about marriage and relationships, it also addresses singleness. Specifically, it identifies the benefits and advantages of being single. So whether you’re single by choice, circumstance, or for a season, you can still live a valuable, meaningful life. Here’s how we know that:
What does the Bible say about singleness?
When it comes to the Bible, there are three important truths to keep in mind about being single:
- Singleness is not second-best. In 1 Corinthians 7:7-8, Paul writes that singleness, like marriage, is a gift in its own right. It’s not better or worse than being married, just different.
- Jesus was single. Jesus was the ultimate example of a complete, fulfilled person – and singleness was part of that.
- God’s plan looks different for everyone. Romans 8:28 reminds us that God is working everything out for our good, including in our relationships (and our singleness).
What’s the purpose of singleness?
If singleness is such a gift, what are the advantages of it? Here are some reasons why singleness is a good thing:
- You have more freedom at your disposal. 1 Corinthians 7:32-34 reminds us that the responsibilities of marriage are a demand on our time and focus. Singleness comes with a level of freedom that those in committed relationships don’t have.
- It’s an opportunity to grow spiritually. In your singleness, you have more room to focus on growing your relationship with God without distractions.
- It’s a time to prepare for what’s next. Whether marriage is in your future or not, your time of singleness is a time to pour into yourself. Set goals, build strong habits, and keep pursuing personal growth.
How to embrace singleness
No matter what singleness looks like for you, here are some ways to embrace the gift that it is and grow in your relationship with God and others:
Redefine what it means to be “complete.”
In case we haven’t said it already, you don’t need a relationship to be whole. A relationship will never be the thing that completes you. Your identity is in Christ, and in him you are complete (Colossians 2:10). He loves you as you are!
Focus on what you have, not what you lack.
If singleness isn’t something you’ve chosen for yourself, it can be easy to feel jealous and bitter. The antidote is practicing gratitude. By focusing on what you have in singleness instead of what you lack, you can help shape your perspective into something healthier.
Surround yourself with strong community.
Loneliness can be a side effect of singleness, but you can take steps to build a strong, supportive community in your life. Groups are a great way to find people you can connect with over a shared interest or season of life, and you’ll experience care and support.
Trust God’s timing.
This is the only cliche we’ll throw at you – because it’s true. God’s timing is always right, even when we wish it was different. God’s path for your life might look different than you hoped it would, but you can trust that God is working things out for your good. Remember to trust God, not your own understanding (Proverbs 3:5-6).
You’re not missing out!
Singleness isn’t something to escape or fix. It’s something to embrace! The key is remembering where your worth truly lies – not in your relationship status, but in your status as a child of God. When you stop viewing singleness as an obstacle and start seeing it as an opportunity, there’s lots of joy and fulfillment to be found.
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Isolation can creep in during seasons of singleness. Here’s how to recognize if isolation is holding you back and take steps to build community in your life.
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