As parents, we want to be able to help our kids through every moment. Whether it is comforting them after a scraped knee, studying for a difficult test, or cheering them on during a big game. But when we need to support their mental health, it can be difficult to know what to do. Here are a few strategies to use in these moments:
Create a safe, comfortable space
It’s easier to share our emotions when we feel safe and comfortable. At the dinner table, in the car ride home, or as you get ready for bed, ask your kids about the highs and lows of their day. Allow them to share as much as they would like and thank them for their willingness to be open with you.
As they talk, completely focus on what they are sharing and repeat back what you hear them saying, no matter how big or small. Doing this daily reinforces to kids that they are safe to share with you, no matter what. Then, when a difficult time arises, they know they have a safe person to come to.
Encourage healthy emotional expression
You can help support your child’s mental health by encouraging them to identify and express their emotions in healthy ways. Start this by modeling expressing your own emotions to your kids. Tell them, in age-appropriate ways, about a variety of things you have felt throughout your day. Use visual tools, like this feelings chart to help your child identify and express their emotions.
Then, invite your kids to share. As your kids share their feelings, tell them that it's okay to feel sadness, frustration, or joy. Encourage them to talk more about how they feel, draw a picture expressing it, or invite them to pray about it. Remind them that God cares about all their feelings. Psalm 34:18 reminds us that, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.”
Model healthy coping mechanisms
Once we support our kids in identifying and expressing their emotions, we can help them develop healthy ways to cope. Kids are watchful, and they pay attention to how we handle stress, disappointment, and challenges for better or worse!
Modeling healthy coping mechanisms teaches your kids to do the same! Use exercise, journaling about your feelings, creating art, or getting out in nature as ways to support your own mental health. When it’s appropriate, invite your kids to join you in this time and share how it’s helping you.
Prioritize modeling God’s role in supporting your mental health
Quiet time with God, moments of worship, and prayer to ask God for his peace and comfort. Remind your kids that they can turn to God for guidance and strength, no matter what the situation. He has told us, “Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand” Isaiah 41:10.
Build their self-esteem with affirmations
One of the greatest ways to support your child’s mental health is by reminding them of their worth. Reinforce your child's worth by regularly reminding them that they are a perfect work from God. Point them to Psalm 139:14, which says, “Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.”
Continue to support their self-worth by celebrating their efforts, not just their successes. Say things like, “I can see how hard you worked,” or “I know you studied hard and tried your best”. These messages help kids to know they are wonderfully made by God and seen for more than their accomplishments.
You’re not alone, parents!
Supporting your child’s mental health isn’t something you need to do alone. Surround yourself with others who will care for you and your child and can point you to God. Be aware of the professional support available to you and your family. Connect with a school guidance counselor, Primary Care Doctor, or a therapist to continue to care for and support your child. (If you need help finding a mental health professional, let us know! We can help get you connected with one.)
Lastly, know that God is there for our kids and for us as parents. He wants to provide us and our children with comfort and peace.
“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7
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