While marriage advice is everywhere – whether from books, podcasts, or friends – finding guidance that truly matters can be overwhelming. How do you know which advice will actually set you up for a marriage that lasts, and which is meaningless?
We took some of the guesswork out to give you the best marriage advice for newlyweds. Here’s the good stuff:
The best marriage advice
The best advice reflects God’s design for marriage, emphasizing love, unity, and selflessness, while offering practical tools to help couples thrive. As Jesus teaches in Matthew 7:24-25, “Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock.” A marriage built on God’s principles is like a house with a firm foundation, able to endure life’s challenges.
Here’s some advice for newlyweds that follows God’s design for marriage that will help you and your spouse build a solid foundation for the years to come:
1. Cut out unnecessary stress
It’s no surprise that change is stressful. Marriage naturally brings change, so it’s wise to cut out extra stress whenever possible. Here are some of the biggest stressors in the early years of marriage:
- Finances: It’s tempting to buy new things and plan big outings, but overspending can add up quickly. Creating a budget that fits both of your goals is a great way to ease financial pressure and help you enjoy your time together without added worry.
- An overly packed schedule: It’s natural to want to stay connected with family and friends, but constantly filling up the calendar can leave little room for the couple to spend quality time together. Protect your time together and make time to connect, reflect, and relax.
- Poor boundaries with extended family: Navigating in-laws and family dynamics can be tricky. Without clear boundaries, outside influences on your relationship can add stress. Discuss how you'll spend time with family, handle conflicts together, and protect your decisions as a couple to maintain peace and unity.
2. Prioritize personal wellness
Taking care of your overall well-being – mental, physical, and spiritual – is essential for a healthy marriage. Marriage doesn’t replace the need for self-care, and when one person neglects their health, it can create stress for both partners. Here are some areas to check in with yourself:
- Mental Wellness: Regularly check in with yourself emotionally, and don’t hesitate to seek counseling or other support if needed. Managing stress, addressing anxieties, and fostering a healthy mindset will help you show up fully for your spouse.
- Physical Wellness: Maintaining good physical health through exercise, a balanced diet, and adequate sleep not only boosts energy and mood but also helps you stay present and active in your relationship. Caring for your body is an act of love for yourself and your partner.
- Spiritual Wellness: Nurturing your spiritual life – whether through prayer, reading Scripture, or worship – grounds your marriage in God’s design. A shared spiritual foundation helps both partners grow closer to each other and to God.
3. Avoid communication pitfalls
Communication is key to any relationship, but it’s especially crucial in marriage. Certain habits – like criticism, defensiveness, shutting down, or ignoring each other’s feelings – can slowly create distance over time.
Healthy communication doesn’t mean avoiding disagreements; it means being willing to talk honestly about things, even the small stuff. Talk openly about what’s on your mind before, during, and after any disagreement. If one spouse is more talkative than the other, try to find a rhythm that works for both of you, so both voices are heard and respected.
If communication becomes hard, don’t ignore it. Think of it like a warning light in a car – issues usually get worse if left unattended. If you’re having trouble, consider seeking help from a counselor or a trusted mentor who can offer guidance. Building strong communication habits from the start will help you stay connected and open with each other as you grow together.
4. Embrace your new identity as a married couple
It’s important to live with a mindset that you are now married – not like you’re still single or just dating. This means putting your marriage first, making decisions with each other in mind, and embracing the shared life you’re building.
Marriage is about becoming a team. Every decision, big or small, affects both people, so it’s important to consider each other’s needs and perspectives. Genesis 2:24 beautifully illustrates this new union, saying, “This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.”
Embracing this unity means letting go of a “me-first” mindset and learning to think as a “we.” For example, prioritizing personal hobbies or time with friends over quality time with a spouse can leave the other feeling neglected or unimportant. Thinking as a “we” means balancing personal interests with shared time and making choices that strengthen the relationship, even if it requires some compromise.
A marriage built to last
Marriage is a gift from God that brings couples together to grow, support each other, and build a life based on love. The first year is an important start, and by reducing stress, keeping communication open, and working as a team, couples can build a solid foundation. With God at the center, this journey can be filled with purpose, joy, and lasting love.
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If you need more encouragement about marriage, check out these helpful resources:
Or listen to this podcast episode where you’ll learn the 6 Communication Habits That Will Kill Your Marriage
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