Have you ever seen billy goats fighting, either while visiting a farm or while watching a nature video? The phrase “to lock horns” comes from that battle of wills. Billy goats have curled horns, and when they butt heads, the horns sometimes get coiled around each other. Stuck. Then they drag each other around the mountain, unable to disengage.
Conflicts are inevitable, but staying locked in a fight without resolution is not. With prayer, humility, and skills, we can unlock the horns and resolve the conflict.
First, we prayed about it. Then we asked God to show us our own part of the conflict. Now comes humility. When we assume we’re right, the other person is obstinate, and everything would be fine if they just did it our way – well, that’s the voice of pride, the opposite of humility. And when both parties are in that mindset, horns are locked, and they’ll drag each other around without resolution.
Humility starts with admitting, “You know, I may be wrong.” Listen to what the other person is saying. Listen not to respond but to understand. We all want to have our comeback ready. Listening to understand, by its very nature, will slow things down. It allows us room to breathe, physically and metaphorically. We can understand the needs and wants of the other person, share our own, and in this way begin to build bridges. It lets us unlock our horns and get off that mountain.
Prayer: God, thank you for showing me my own pride. Help me to put that aside to hear what the other person has to say. Help me to understand where they’re coming from so we can start to resolve this conflict. Amen.