Have you ever had a summer evening campfire? Maybe you toasted marshmallows. Maybe you enjoyed the sound of tree frogs and crickets. As the night wore on, you allowed the embers to burn down to ash, warm and glowing but no longer burning. If you had put another log on, the fire would have picked up again. But without more wood, the fire eventually went out.
Conflict is inevitable, but a continually raging fire is not. If we pray, seek God’s wisdom, come to the table with humility, and listen to understand, we’re on our way to resolving the conflict and restoring the relationship. The next step is to be slow to become angry. And slow to add to the anger of the other person.
Our words are powerful. They can bring comfort to a hurting person, encourage someone in doubt, and bring wisdom. They can also, if we’re not careful, cause more damage and more hurt to a person or relationship.
As you seek to resolve the conflict, seek to speak with gentleness. A soft word turns away wrath. A harsh word stirs up anger. Finger-pointing and blaming and “If you just...” is like throwing another log on the fire. The anger and hurt and bitterness will spring to life again and continue to burn the relationship to ash. Seek to speak softly, with gentleness and humility instead, to bring the conflict to an end.
Prayer: God, forgive me for my harsh words. Help me to control my tongue so that I can help restore this relationship. If my words have caused any harm to the other person, please heal that hurt and help me to make amends. Amen.